Most buyers and sellers assume a real estate negotiation begins when an offer is submitted.

In reality, it often begins much earlier.

Before there is a price, a counteroffer, or even a serious discussion about terms, experienced real estate agents are gathering information. A seemingly casual conversation between a buyer's agent and listing agent can reveal quite a bit about each client's motivation, alternatives, expectations, and ultimately their negotiating leverage.

I think of this as pre-negotiation.

And sometimes, what an agent says before an offer is submitted can become just as important as what eventually appears in the offer itself.

What Is Pre-Negotiation in Real Estate?

Pre-negotiation is the information gathering and positioning that happens before formal negotiations begin.

For example, when a buyer attends a showing, a listing agent might casually ask:

• What else have you been looking at?

• Have you seen anything else you like?

• How long have you been searching?

• What are you looking for?

• What's most important to you?

• What price range have you been considering?

These can sound like ordinary conversation—and sometimes they are.

But the answers can also provide valuable information.

A good listing agent is trying to understand the buyer.

How difficult has their search been? Are their expectations realistic? Does this property have something they've struggled to find elsewhere? Are there several competing properties that could satisfy them, or is this listing unusually well suited to what they need?

That information can become relevant if the buyer eventually makes an offer.

Why Does a Buyer's Search Matter to the Seller?

Because alternatives affect negotiating leverage.

Imagine a buyer tells the listing agent they've been searching for six months. They need three bedrooms, parking and private outdoor space in a particular Boston neighborhood—and they've struggled to find all three.

Now imagine your listing has exactly those features.

That doesn't automatically mean the buyer will pay the asking price. But the listing agent has learned something important:

This property may be difficult for that buyer to replace.

If the buyer later submits an aggressive offer, the listing agent has more context for evaluating how credible that position might be.

The question isn't simply:

“How much is this buyer offering?”

It's also:

“What happens if this buyer loses this property?”

If there are five comparable alternatives available, walking away may be relatively easy.

If the buyer has been searching for months and hasn't seen anything else that meets their needs, that's a very different negotiating dynamic.

Can Buyers Give Away Too Much Information Before Making an Offer?

Absolutely.

One of the most surprising things I see in transactions is how freely information can sometimes be shared before negotiations begin.

A buyer—or occasionally their agent—might reveal:

“We've been looking forever.”

“This is the first one they've really loved.”

“They have to be in this neighborhood.”

“They could probably go higher.”

“They've already lost three other properties.”

Each statement may be completely innocent.

But each one also tells the listing agent something about the buyer's alternatives, motivation or flexibility.

That information doesn't disappear when an offer arrives.

A good agent remembers it.

Should Buyers Refuse to Answer Questions at a Showing?

No. Being guarded about everything isn't necessarily good strategy either.

Real estate transactions require communication, and developing a productive relationship with the other agent can be valuable.

The objective isn't to act secretive.

It's to understand which information is useful to share and which information could unnecessarily weaken your client's position later.

Sometimes sharing information is intentional.

A buyer's agent may want the listing agent to understand why a particular term matters to their client. They may want to establish credibility, explain the reasoning behind an offer, or gather information in return.

The important distinction is whether information is being shared strategically or accidentally.

Do Listing Agents Give Away Information Too?

They can.

Pre-negotiation works in both directions.

A buyer's agent may be listening carefully for information about the seller:

Why are they moving?

Have they already purchased another property?

How long have they owned the home?

Has there been much interest?

Are there other offers?

Does the seller care about the closing date?

Have previous negotiations fallen apart?

Some information may be intentionally disclosed because it helps facilitate a transaction. Other information may reveal more about the seller's motivation than intended.

An experienced buyer's agent should be doing exactly what an experienced listing agent is doing:

asking questions, listening carefully, and determining what information may matter later.

How Can an Agent Protect a Client During Pre-Negotiations?

It starts with recognizing that casual conversations can have strategic consequences.

A buyer's agent should understand what the listing agent may be trying to learn and field those questions without unnecessarily revealing the buyer's limits or lack of alternatives.

A listing agent should do the same for the seller.

That doesn't require being evasive or dishonest. In fact, I generally find that productive negotiations depend on transparency and professional communication.

But transparency doesn't mean volunteering every piece of information you have.

There is a difference between being honest and unnecessarily surrendering leverage.

When Does Negotiating Leverage Actually Begin?

Long before the counteroffer.

Leverage can start developing at the first showing, the first phone call between agents, or even the first inquiry about a property.

Every conversation can provide clues about:

• motivation

• alternatives

• urgency

• expectations

• flexibility

• competition

The best agents aren't simply waiting for an offer so they can begin negotiating.

They're listening before the offer ever arrives.

And just as importantly, they're making sure their own client isn't unintentionally providing information that could be used against them later.

Why Pre-Negotiation Matters in Boston Real Estate

Boston's housing stock can make this particularly important because properties are rarely interchangeable.

One condo may have parking. Another may have private outdoor space. Another may have an elevator, an unusually functional floor plan, or a combination of features that's difficult to replicate within the same neighborhood and price range.

That means understanding a buyer's alternatives can matter enormously.

If a property offers something the buyer has struggled to find elsewhere, the listing agent may have more leverage.

If several comparable properties are available, the buyer may have more leverage.

Recognizing that dynamic before formal negotiations begin can influence how both sides approach an eventual offer.

The negotiation doesn't always begin when someone puts a number on paper.

Often, it has already begun.

If you're preparing to buy or sell in Boston, having an advisor who knows which questions to ask—and which questions to answer carefully—can help protect your negotiating position before an offer is ever submitted.

About the Author | Ryan J. Glass

Ryan J. Glass is a top-producing Boston luxury real estate agent with Gibson Sotheby's International Realty, specializing in the South End, Back Bay, and Beacon Hill neighborhoods. An experienced listing agent and buyer representative, Ryan specializes in luxury condominiums, historic brownstones, and high-end residential properties throughout Boston. Recognized among the top 1.5% of real estate professionals nationwide by RealTrends and named to the National Association of REALTORS® 30 Under 30, Ryan brings extensive expertise in property valuation, strategic pricing, luxury real estate marketing, and negotiations. His market insights help Boston homeowners, buyers, and sellers make informed real estate decisions.

Learn more about Ryan J. Glass and his Boston real estate experience